“There is nothing noble about being superior to some other person. True Nobility lies in being superior to your former self.”
I have had several conversations this week with a dear friend who has reminded me of something so critical to my spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical health, I have to write it down. It is probably the single most important thing for me, today, to keep blooming. So here it is: Let go and love…
Instead of explaining what that means, I want to describe what it looks and feels like for me:
It is going out to the barn today and being Denise. Spending 3 hours pushing out old straw out and moving in the new stuff. It is looking at the bare cement in the barn, for the first time, and feeling so happy because I made that happen. It is feeling my arms ache, and loving it. It is seeing something I fixed yesterday in the barn and it works.There is no longer snow and rain getting in that area. It is watching Sabrina work so hard at getting those cobwebs out from between the wood slats, sweeping so diligently, and truly working her buttuski off raking the hay out the door. So proud of her. It is making calls to friends and feeling how much I am loved and they are loved right back. It is being so excited when we called Farmer Sara today to get an update on the goat’s arrival. It is really understanding when I let others be exactly who they are I get to be exactly me. It is being in this very present moment and feeling so glad to be myself.
My focus is on myself, which sounds so selfish, doesn’t it? If I am taking care of myself fully though, I really do believe that I will be a better mom, better friend, better wife, better farmer… All of the comparing and judging and trying to figure out everybody elses lives, only causes me anxiety and passifies my mind with emptiness.
I am learning how to focus on my own life, and to be open to being a positive force in others lives. I know that if I am not taking care of these deep passions that feel like are a sort of calling, I can never really be there for others in a healthy way.
So, today I celebrate taking action that celebrates me, like cleaning a barn. In doing this, I am letting go and loving.
Oh and by the way… it was Chris’ idea to use something like a cereal box to staple down over the plastic on the wood slats, so snow would not come in. The plastic continued to pop off after stapling it down over and over. I used dog food bags cut into strips and it is working great! Thanks Chris.